Happy 2018! This year starts off rather different than last year at this time. Last year, my husband and I decided to give our marriage one more try. We had separated the previous year for about a month and and a half. During that time, things weren’t always the best. It was difficult handling everything on my own. I wasn’t confident in my ability to take care of everything properly without him there. So I agreed to one more chance at saving “us”. We have two daughters and the last thing I ever wanted was for them to deal with their parents divorcing. I myself am a child of divorce. Growing up it was never easy being labeled that. You see, in the 70’s and even some of the 80’s people were not as understanding and forgiving of single parents and their children. We were looked down on. Although that experience was very difficult to go through, today I can honestly say it has made me the woman I have grown to be. My daughters are now beginning that same journey. Last year, after 6 months of couples therapy and trying to figure out how to make our marriage work, my husband and I decided that divorce was the only option. My daughters took the news surprisingly well. I think they were actually relieved. The environment we were raising them in was not quite ideal. Now they had the chance to start fresh and live a happy life. I agreed that the home we shared was too much for me to handle on my own. So right before Thanksgiving, I bought a house and moved in with my girls. This was a HUGE step for me. Taking on the responsibility of a home and everything that entails running it. But I was up for the challenge and my girls were right there with me. We had our first Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners at our new house along with my now ex-husband. He and I are cordial to each other and I didn’t want to deny him the chance to spend some time with our children. Now that the holidays are over, the real work begins. I gave up on New Year’s resolutions a few years ago. I felt they just added unneeded stress to my life. I do start off the new year clearing clutter and working on making my life even more stress free than it was the previous year. This year will have even more meaning and hard work at making this a reality. The home I bought is perfect but I call it my “diamond in the rough”. It does need some work. Nothing major but it does need some fine tuning to make it perfect for us. I will try and do better at keeping up with my blog this year also. As I begin this new chapter in my life, I hope that maybe someone is also on the same journey and I can be there to show them that it’s going to be ok. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other! 🙂
Why does it take a major change in our lives to realize this? I have always tried to instill in my daughters, that life is too short to worry about the little things. You were not put on this Earth to please others. You are responsible for your own happiness.
I am not saying that you need to be disrespectful or rude toward others while you are creating your own happiness. Two very important things to always remember is:
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle
you know nothing about.
Be kind. Always”
“Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you”
The Golden Rule
Growing up, I struggled with always worrying what others thought of me, said about me. When I was 4, my parents divorced. I was always the “odd kid out” in school because I didn’t have a Dad. I attended Catholic school from 1st to 8th Grade. This was before it was acceptable for a single Mom to raise her children. So I dealt with a lot of funny looks, whispers. Thankfully, many of the adults at the school (both parents and staff) knew my Mom growing up and were always kind to me. There were the select few who made me feel invisible, like I didn’t exist. Funny thing happened in 1983–my Mom remarried over Summer break. When I returned to school that Fall, all of a sudden I was no longer the “odd kid out”. I now had a Mother and a Father so I was just like everyone else to everyone else. At the time, I thought it was great that I was getting all this attention. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized WHY all of a sudden they changed the way they treated me.
Through my teenage years, I still felt I had to please everyone and put them before myself. Perhaps this is just the typical mindset of a teenager. Wanting desperately for everyone to like them.
As I get older, I realize more and more that what others think/say about me is their problem not mine. Every parent wants (or at least should want) their child to live a better life than they had. So I believe that is the reason why, from a young age, I have always told my daughters that they need to focus on what makes THEM happy, not what others think they need to be happy.
If something doesn’t go your way, know that there is a reason why it didn’t go as you planned. Have faith that in time, everything will fall into place exactly as it was meant to be.
I always loved Christmas time when I was a child. I come from a big Irish family. We always spent so much time together especially around the holidays. As I grew older, one thing that I unfortunately had to deal with was the loss of family and friends. This made family gatherings and holidays especially difficult. That first year without them was always the worst. Trying to get used to this new “normal” wasn’t always easy. But somehow, we adapt and move on.
One of my favorite holidays is New Year’s Eve. Think about it – there are no gifts to be bought and wrapped. No decorations to put up. No stress! Just a time to gather with friends and family and reflect on the past year. I always enjoyed watching Dick Clark’s show and somehow managing to stay up late enough to watch the ball drop in NYC. Our family used to go out on the porch at midnight and bang on pots and pans and yell “Happy New Year! ” to all our neighbors. Thankfully, they all loved us and didn’t mind the commotion.
My family now gets ready for the new year with a huge buffet of food at home. We have a great time. Although some things have changed over the years, I am happy I have passed down to my girls the traditions my family has done. We may not have Dick Clark to help us ring in the new year, or all our loved ones with us like we would like them to be. But I am still thankful for the people I do have in my life. I am truly blessed with wonderful family and friends.
So now that another year has passed, it’s time to look forward. You have been given a clean slate to work with. Do not waste your time looking in the rear view mirror of life. You won’t get anywhere. My New Year’s resolutions have been the same over the last few years–I resolve to not make a New Year’s Resolution! Life is stressful enough. Just decide to make a difference every day of your life. It could be as simple as smiling at a stranger, holding the door open for someone at the store. You don’t have to be a millionaire to make a difference. You can do this!
Wishing you a Happy 2015!
Ok so I’ve always said I wanted to start a blog. I set one up and now what?? Not sure what to write about or what others are looking for from my blog. How about some feedback??